This Week’s Tweets
T-minus 40 minutes until DEEP FRIED OREOS. Breakfast of champions, BTW. # There's nothing quite like a wet stone wall to send an imagination wandering. # Paul, when I ask you to remind me to do...
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Does this make anyone else nervous? http://t.co/iXfPcuag # While raw honey and bacon fat look an awful lot alike, only one of them should go in tea. # My throat feels like I spent the morning...
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Karen Carpenter was on to something. # Sweet Mother of Pearl it's been a long day. # First shower in four days? Better than sex with a sparkly vampire on a bed of cheesecake. # Mostly because the...
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To my NC peeps (and anyone else that eats with utensils), consider supporting @replacements. – Stand for Gay Marriage http://t.co/NAMBNkUX # You can keep your LASSO of TRUTH, Wonder Woman. My BOOBS of...
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Whoever came up with that "slept like a baby" line obviously never met a baby. Also they should be punched in the bits. Hard. # A breakfast of Earl Grey and chocolate chip cheesecake. Take THAT rainy...
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Let the countdown to@ActuallyNPH …er…I mean… #tonys begin! # Drink. STAT. # Was that good for you, too? Then click here and follow my Facebook page. Or even better, join the mailing list. Free pony...
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I've never thought of pureed zucchini as particularly aerodynamic, but boy can that stuff fly. # Sleep – it's what's for dinner. # Dear Aloysius, I apologize in advance for the swampy state of my pits...
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Just finished the "Fifty Shades" trilogy. And now I'll be re-reading "The Secret Garden" in the hopes of restoring my faith in humanity. # I love my town – the rebel knitting gang "attacked" the...
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14 hrs later we've finally departed DC crammed into the dining car of a sleeper train. Of course Paul decides this is the time to crap. # And then the conductor wouldn't let me nurse my kid. Lovin'...
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Him: So you know how sometimes I go and book the flights for our vacations without telling you? Me: *blank stare* Him: And then you get really mad. And then you get excited. And then you figure out all...
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